Brad Rhame

Motivational Thoughts on Success, Leadership and Martial Arts

Archive for the tag “love”

20 Jul 2021

Your Last 5 Minutes

If you were told you had 5 minutes to live, what would you do?

What would you say?

Would you call someone?

Would you write your final will?

Would you write a note to your loved ones?

How about this…

Would you be ready?

Did you accomplish everything you wanted?

Did you give your best advice to those who needed it?

Did you say, “I love you” enough?

Did you say it at all?

300 seconds is all you have left to leave your last impression on this world.

Did your children learn all the lessons you had to teach them?

Does your spouse know how much you love and adore them?

Will your coworkers have great things to say about you?

Will the local stores remember you?

What will be said by others at your funeral?

Will the world be glad that you graced it with your presence and left something behind?

Will you pass from this planet with a smile on your face or a tear in your eye?

When your final chapter is written and you are flipping to the last couple of pages, what will the words say?

You get to choose the answer to all of the questions above.

You get to write your legacy.

Knowing that nothing can be taken with you, what will you leave behind?

The ending of the story is up to you.

Above all, I hope you choose happiness.

By leaving this world a piece of you, we will be better off.

Now go and finish your story.

You’ll be glad you did.

I promise.

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11 Jun 2021

The Perfect Marriage

Was your first reaction to laugh or was it curiosity?

Is there a formula for a perfect marriage?

Maybe…

Have you ever volunteered your time to help a friend, family member or organization?

What about donating blood or platelets?

Was there this feeling that made you smile from the inside out when it was all finished?

That is how marriage should feel. It should be this feeling of giving to someone else. This can come in the form of a nice compliment or note. It can also be done by helping around the home or giving a well-timed and thoughtful gift. It isn’t about how much you spend, but that you thought of them to do something special.

Maybe it is as simple as rubbing their feet or neck. Possibly just holding their hand and looking into their eyes.

So, if it is really that simple where did we go wrong?

Let’s start at the beginning…

From the time we are born to the time we graduate high school, life is pretty much about us. Some of us may take that into our 20’s or even 30’s.

From our exterior to our interior we have a lot of control as to what happens to us and at what time.

The problem with that is we get into a habit of always thinking about ourselves instead of others. This problem pops up when we get married and start realizing that our way is not always the popular way. We start getting challenged by our significant other to why we think the way we do. Maybe we get completely shut down on our opinion or idea.

This can lead to arguments, pride getting in the way, and downright obstinance on our part or our spouse.

Every day it is up to you whether the day starts off right or wrong. Can we control how someone else responds? No. However, we can keep making the right decision by giving to them.

Are there going to be those times when someone doesn’t respond in the right way? Yes. Could it be a continual thing? Yes. Is that your fault? No. That is something they will need to remedy on their side. Our job is to love them and to take care of them mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

If they never change, then it might be time to get counseling. If that doesn’t work, then you have to do what you feel is right by your own beliefs.

The majority of people will reciprocate your giving to them. And the goal is that they take turns giving it first too.

When two people are loving towards one another, then giving should come naturally. Sometimes you don’t feel the love, but by putting into action what we want to ultimately achieve, then we will feel the love afterwards.

There are moments when you won’t want to do something and that is natural. Everyone feels like that at times. The goal is to reach for something more. We are seeking the perfect marriage and each couple will have a different idea of what perfect is. The main idea is that you come up with it together.

You are in control of your destiny. You are in control of your thoughts. You are in control of your actions. When you start taking responsibility for your successes and failures, then you will start doing what is required to achieve maximum results in your marriage.

There are thousands of ideas that you can research on the internet. Take some time to make your marriage perfect. Take some time to ask your spouse what they like. Take some time to write it down.

You have to study to get good grades. You have to workout to get a fit body. You have to work hard to make more money.

Your relationship deserves hard work too. Take five minutes to think about your spouse. Think of all the generous things he/she has done for you. Think of goals you want to achieve with them. Think of places you want to go. Think about making them smile.

Your words and actions go farther than you realize.

Give it your best and you won’t be disappointed.

I promise.

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01 Aug 2018

Growing Up – by Brad Rhame

I passed by my oldest son’s bedroom and noticed he was taking a nap.  He is 14 years old.  It is amazing to see how long he is on the bed.  In the last year, he has grown 5 to 6 inches in height and gained a tremendous amount of muscle.  As he was lying there, I felt like I had missed a whole year of his life.

He has changed so much!

I am proud of him.  He hears me say it, however, I don’t think he understands it.  Not like me.  There is this deep feeling of emotion that rushes over me as I see the man he could or might become.  His future is still in its infancy.

I think back to when he was a baby.  He was premature and was less than 4 lbs.  So small.  So helpless.  So fragile.  Now he is able to do most things by himself and will soon be driving.  I actually look forward to teaching him how to drive.  It will be one more bridge to freedom for him.  Another chance to grow up and make important decisions.

Sometimes we want our children to stay small and young.  We forget that our parents wanted the same thing for us, as did their parents for them.  Life is about growth…mentally…physically…emotionally…spiritually.  Without growth, there is only death. Life requires growth.  People, places, and things never stop growing.

People grow in physicality first and then in understanding (or at least that is the hope…lol).  Places like cities continue to grow in population.  In fact, the population from 1980 (4.4 billion) till now July 2018 (7.5 billion) has grown extremely fast!  And things like transportation, technology and even trees continue to grow.

Back to my son…

Now that his bones, muscles and other tissues are growing quickly, it also requires rest.  I think that is why he is napping.  Besides it being hot out, he is just worn out.  I take these moments as precious times in history, because I won’t have them much more.  What I will have is more experiences with him.  More intelligent conversations and yes…better comebacks.  We like to joke a lot.  He also likes to fill his oats and challenge me from time to time, with a little chest bumping action or wrestling match. He is definitely getting stronger and faster.  One day I won’t have the upper hand.  My martial arts background and physical size over him won’t last much longer, but I’m not telling him that!

I love him.

I make sure to tell him that a lot.

He probably thinks I say it too much, but I know a lot of guys who have never heard that from their dads.  So, I want to make sure he knows.

When life keeps moving faster and faster, make sure to hit the pause button and look around.  Kids grow up fast.  We grow up fast.  Life keeps moving, growing, changing…and if we don’t take a moment to breath and take in its beauty, then we will miss it.

I’m not going to miss it.

I’m not going to miss watching my son grow up.

In fact…I look forward to it (sort of).

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20 Feb 2015

Fighting Greatness – by Brad Rhame

What is one of the first things we do when we get out of bed? Yes…we head towards the bathroom, but what is one of the main things we do once we are in the bathroom? It has to do with a mirror. Yes, that’s right. We look at ourselves. And why do you suppose that is? Are we hoping to have perfect hair? What about sleep lines from our pillows? Are we hoping those don’t show up?

I think the answer lies much deeper and truer than those questions ask. I think we are hoping to see someone amazing. We are hoping that today picks up where yesterday left off (if yesterday was a great day). Or we are hoping that today is completely different and altogether better. Either way, we want today to be great. And most likely we want to be a factor in its greatness.

Whether we admit it or not, each of us wants to be great. We want to know our lives matter or make a difference. Life has a way of bringing us back to an all too common reality. My question though is this, “Is reality real?” If we wake up everyday hoping today is the day where we succeed, win, achieve more or whatever your goal might be, then doesn’t it make sense that we were made for more…?

Why do some people impact the world at such a young age and others do not? Could it be our drive? I wouldn’t put money on that one. What about our personality type? Maybe, but I would hold out for something else.

If I had to take an educated guess I would say passion. And then, what is our “Why”. If you believe in something with every fiber of your being and have a reason for it coming to fruition, then and only then can you make it happen. Nothing happens without action. Where there is no belief and action…dreams do not become reality.

Bruce Lee changed martial arts forever, because of his belief in a better fighting philosophy. Jesus Christ changed the world, because of his love for humanity. Both died before they saw the age of 35! There is still time for you to realize your dreams and become the person you were created to be.

From now on, when you get out of bed trust yourself to who you want to be and not who you might currently think you are. Surround yourself with positive people. Read books and magazines that inspire you. Keep learning and growing. Always be a student and self educate yourself. Exercise your body and brain. Create something new. Go somewhere new. Try something new.

But most of all…Stop fighting your current fear of greatness and who you were really meant to be. Dare yourself to fail. Learn from your mistakes and press on. We are waiting for you to change the world!

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30 Jan 2015

Family – by Brad Rhame

When you hear the word “Family” what images or thoughts are brought to mind?

 

Everyone has experienced “Family” in different ways.  Some of us have come from big traditional families and others of us have come from small non-traditional families.  We may be related by blood, contract or love.  Each of us have a different idea of what a family is.  Even brothers and sisters, who have grown up in the same family, can have differing opinions of what a family constitutes.

 

No matter what someone else thinks a family is, you know what it is to you.  The point I want to drive home is that when you make up your mind of what a family looks like, then spend the rest of your life designing your family to the best of your abilities.   Put everything you have into it.

 

Will there be times when that perfect picture cracks, splits, or even brakes?  Yes.  That does not mean it is over.  Anything in life that could be beautiful is worth going after.  Worth building…Worth rebuilding.  I would really like to tell you to just put more love into it, but we all know what that means….   Absolutely different things to everyone.   Love…more than a feeling…is really an action.

 

I can attest to that and I am sure many of you can too.  There are times, days, weeks and even months where we do not “feel” love.  Love is an action and every time we decide to do something for someone, because it is the right thing, then we are putting love into action.  By showing or doing love, we are that much closer do designing the family we want.

 

You can’t lose weight by sitting in a chair and eating your favorite foods in large consumptions.  You can’t have your dream job, if you don’t put in an application and develop the skills needed.  You can’t write your first book, by watching videos, reading how-to-books, and buying blank journals, only to watch the blank journals pile up, beside the books and videos.  Wishing and dreaming are fun, but they don’t get anything accomplished without action.

 

Family falls into that same thought process.  We have to continually work…and I mean WORK…at what we want to come from our family.  Life will throw you lemons, curve balls, and straight crap, but we have to know it is coming and react to it with a prepared mind.  Easier said than done?  Absolutely!  Life is not about “Easy”.  Life is about “Learning”.  Learn from your mistakes.  Learn from others’ mistakes.  Learn from your successes, as well as, others’ too.  Then, pass those same thoughts, morals, and traditions onto those you love…your family.  And watch how they respond and possibly even change it as they grow.

 

Whatever you do, just don’t forget to be there for your family.  When everyone else is gone and the toys have lost their appeal, just remember that your family is there waiting for you.

 

Love to Live and Learn to Laugh….and in the middle you have Live and Learn

 

Brad Rhame

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09 Jun 2014

Love to Live – by Brad Rhame

Life is not so much about what we do, but who we are.  Maybe you always wanted to be someone famous or own your own company.  Right now you are neither.  Maybe you will always be neither…But that is okay.  Learn to (or should I say teach yourself to) love life.  Everyday is a gift.  When your body is set in motion, at the start of the day, anything can happen.  Live as if it were your last day on Earth.  Make others remember you.  Make them glad they knew you.  Care about other’s more than yourself and they will remember you.

 

When life is over all your trophies will rust and eventually end up in the dump.  The one thing that won’t is your impact on others.  Give others something to live for.  Motivate and inspire them to go for their dreams.  Show them that you genuinely care about their lives.  Teach your kids everything you can.  Love your spouse with everything you have.  Give all you have inside to everyone outside.  Smile as you walk by others.  Open doors for others.  Pay the tab for others.  Volunteer your time to others.  Do to others as you would have them do to you.

 

Love your life so much that you want to bless others with it!

Brad Rhame

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25 Jan 2014
5 Comments

A Man of Generosity – by Brad Rhame

My Uncle Jim, who recently passed away was a man of generosity.  There isn’t a person who knows the name Jim Pritchard, who doesn’t realize how successful he was.  I will never know how many people he helped…but I will know that I was one of them.  He not only gave to me financially, but through his wisdom and generosity too.

I can’t begin to thank him enough for the words of wisdom he gave me on business.  He also showed me what it meant to be generous to others.  There have been so many people tell of the stories of his kindness.  Those who knew him will remember him for years to come.  They will share memories and moments of his laughter and sincerity.

When others mention Jim Pritchard or “JP” as he was often called, they will remember a man who didn’t horde his financial success, but shared with all those around.  He taught us how to make others feel special.  And this all came from a man who had a “C” average in high school and never pursued a college degree.  A man who succeeded in ways that others will only dream about.

His success was not built on luck or family inheritance, but on the one thing that matters most…and that was people.  He taught us that it was about relationships and that is for what he will be remembered.  I will never be able to thank him enough for the acts of kindness and neither will those who knew him.

What I pass on to others from the lessons of his life are these:

  • Life is short
  • Give generously
  • Treat people well
  • Make people remember you
  • Love people
  • Cry with those you love
  • Meet new people
  • Share memories
  • Laugh often
  • Mean what you say
  • Go BIG or go home
  • True riches are in relationships

And if you never met Jim Pritchard, I know you would have liked him and probably even loved him.

Thank you Uncle Jim for being a man of generosity.

Love,

your nephew

Brad Rhame

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26 Dec 2013

What Is Your Life Motto? – by Brad Rhame

What is your life motto?

Why is it important to have a life motto?  Well, let’s first think about companies.  Do they have vision statements? Yes.  Do they have mission statements?  Yes.  Do they have strategic plans, operational plans, tactical plans?  Yes.  And why is this?  Because they need a plan of attack and a way to keep themselves on track.  Every time they think about a new product, service, or advertisement they have to ask if it lines up with who they are and where they are going.

The same holds true for your personal life.  Who do you want to be?  Where do you want to go?  How do you want to get there?  This can all be answered in a personal life motto that you live out every day.  It keeps you on track and thinking along the right lines.

My life motto is “Love to Live and Learn to Laugh”

That statement has 7 different meanings to me.  Can you find them?  Well, if not let me briefly point them out.

1. Love – The New Oxford American Dictionary defines it, “an intense feeling of deep affection”

2. Live – Do the vital requirements to stay alive

3. Learn – That same dictionary defines it, “gain or acquire knowledge of a skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taught; commit to memory.”

4. Laugh – Let life be enjoyable and laugh about it

5. Love to Live – Which means to really be excited about your life and what you get to do with it.  You never know when the ride stops

6. Learn to Laugh – Life can be embarrassing sometimes and you have to laugh it off or laugh at yourself.  Others will appreciate you for it

7. Live and Learn – Realize that your failure is a chance to do better the next time

Those are extremely short definitions of each one of those words and phrases.  Each one of those has so much meaning behind them, that I could go on all day about each.  That is what you have to do with a life motto.  It needs to be simple, memorable, and point you to what you want in life.

By coming up with a life motto (and it may change) you are taking the first step in creating the life you always wanted.  Wake up every day and recite it.  Put yourself in the right frame of mind, at the beginning of the day, and you will be amazed at your success.  So, let me ask you again…What is your life motto?

Brad Rhame

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14 Dec 2013
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To a wonderful woman, my Mamaw – by Brad Rhame

Today I received the call from my father that my grandmother (Mamaw) had passed away.  Dad let me know that they would be in touch and keep me posted as to what was going to happen next.  We said our good byes and the call was over in just over a minute.  It took a minute to sink in, but after reaching the top of the stairs I crawled into bed and cried.

I realized that part of my past was forever gone, on this Earth.  I remembered the times of going over to my grandparents’ home and running down stairs to play pool, ping pong, or find some floor game to pull out.  Some of the best memories are of the holidays.  The Christmas tree would be in the living room, with candy canes hanging all over it.  There would be a football game on in the family room and everyone would be busy talking and laughing.  At the dinner table I would end up by my Mamaw most of the time and we would tease each other through the whole meal.  I miss those laughs.

My Mamaw was always one to sit down at the breakfast table and find out what was going on in your life.  There were always snacks, sandwiches, or a not so secret drawer with cookies in it.  My two brothers and I loved running to that drawer to find out what kind of cookies were in there this time.

Mamaw had her own little spot in the basement where she could work on her genealogy.  It was there that I found out that I was related to George Washington.  And like every grandparents’ home, it had an unforgettable smell that instantly reminded you of memories past.  Many times my grandparents would come back from a vacation overseas and bring a gift for everyone in the family.  Looking back, it was the idea that the gift came from outside the country that made it so cool.

As I got older I came to understand responsibility when sometimes I would go over to their house to help rake the yard or clean leaves out of the gutter.  My grandfather helped me buy my first car (a blue ’87 Ford Mustang).  I also got to witness love at it’s best when my Papaw was there at every turn of Alzheimer’s my Mamaw experienced.  There were days that I could see the old Mamaw come to life, but as time went on she would slowly fade from reality into a state of confusion and eventually silence.  Today, she escaped that silence and is living in the most vibrant and beautiful place ever.  She is waiting for all of her family to meet her there and pick up where we left off.  I am looking forward to that reunion, and hoping to have those same memories with my wife and children.

To my Mamaw, a most wonderful woman!

Brad Rhame

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