The Perfect Marriage
Was your first reaction to laugh or was it curiosity?
Is there a formula for a perfect marriage?
Maybe…
Have you ever volunteered your time to help a friend, family member or organization?
What about donating blood or platelets?
Was there this feeling that made you smile from the inside out when it was all finished?
That is how marriage should feel. It should be this feeling of giving to someone else. This can come in the form of a nice compliment or note. It can also be done by helping around the home or giving a well-timed and thoughtful gift. It isn’t about how much you spend, but that you thought of them to do something special.
Maybe it is as simple as rubbing their feet or neck. Possibly just holding their hand and looking into their eyes.
So, if it is really that simple where did we go wrong?
Let’s start at the beginning…
From the time we are born to the time we graduate high school, life is pretty much about us. Some of us may take that into our 20’s or even 30’s.
From our exterior to our interior we have a lot of control as to what happens to us and at what time.
The problem with that is we get into a habit of always thinking about ourselves instead of others. This problem pops up when we get married and start realizing that our way is not always the popular way. We start getting challenged by our significant other to why we think the way we do. Maybe we get completely shut down on our opinion or idea.
This can lead to arguments, pride getting in the way, and downright obstinance on our part or our spouse.
Every day it is up to you whether the day starts off right or wrong. Can we control how someone else responds? No. However, we can keep making the right decision by giving to them.
Are there going to be those times when someone doesn’t respond in the right way? Yes. Could it be a continual thing? Yes. Is that your fault? No. That is something they will need to remedy on their side. Our job is to love them and to take care of them mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
If they never change, then it might be time to get counseling. If that doesn’t work, then you have to do what you feel is right by your own beliefs.
The majority of people will reciprocate your giving to them. And the goal is that they take turns giving it first too.
When two people are loving towards one another, then giving should come naturally. Sometimes you don’t feel the love, but by putting into action what we want to ultimately achieve, then we will feel the love afterwards.
There are moments when you won’t want to do something and that is natural. Everyone feels like that at times. The goal is to reach for something more. We are seeking the perfect marriage and each couple will have a different idea of what perfect is. The main idea is that you come up with it together.
You are in control of your destiny. You are in control of your thoughts. You are in control of your actions. When you start taking responsibility for your successes and failures, then you will start doing what is required to achieve maximum results in your marriage.
There are thousands of ideas that you can research on the internet. Take some time to make your marriage perfect. Take some time to ask your spouse what they like. Take some time to write it down.
You have to study to get good grades. You have to workout to get a fit body. You have to work hard to make more money.
Your relationship deserves hard work too. Take five minutes to think about your spouse. Think of all the generous things he/she has done for you. Think of goals you want to achieve with them. Think of places you want to go. Think about making them smile.
Your words and actions go farther than you realize.
Give it your best and you won’t be disappointed.
I promise.
Brad Rhame 