Brad Rhame

Motivational Thoughts on Success, Leadership and Martial Arts

Which Martial Art is the Best?

I have seen this question pop up so many times on martial art sites.  Many people have their opinion and others just laugh at the person who posed the question.  The answer is simple.  The best martial art is the one you are training in.  If you are not training and looking to begin, then the best one is the one you are drawn to in the movies.

Here is the thing about martial art schools.  They are not all the same.  The instructors make or break the school.  So, if you are looking for a school to start training in, then I would recommend trying out a few different ones around town.  Go to each one for one to four weeks and see how you interact with the teacher.  Many are great practitioners of the art, but not good teachers.  Others are good teachers, but not very good at demonstrating the techniques.

It is important that the teacher and you get along.  What I mean is that the way they teach and the way you learn make for a good match.  This will make all the difference in how much you learn and at what speed you pick it up.  Going to class is not always the most fun thing to do, but having a good teacher makes it easier.  The classes should be hard and full of physical challenges.  At the same time, they should be interesting and have something that draws you in.

Once you find a good teacher, then study every chance you get.  Become extremely proficient in the art you choose.  Having basic moves mastered and more advanced ones practiced is important to understanding your art and your body.  This allows you to make a good decision down the road, as to what you want to do when it comes to staying with it or moving on to another discipline.

Many students start off with karate or taekwondo and find that they absolutely love the art and want to continue.  Others find that they have learned basic techniques and realize that their bodies prefer different movements or fighting styles.  Your body will teach you a lot about what it can and what it cannot do.  Maybe you are better with your hands than your feet or vice versa.  Perhaps you like stand up over ground work or maybe the other way around.  The difference in distance from your opponent may also appeal to you.  Maybe you like more circular movements compared to direct ones.

All of these things will make up what you like or want in a martial art.  Everyone starts somewhere and then they decide after doing it for a while if they want to stick with it or move to a different art.  In order to answer the question of which is the best martial art, you have to practice them for yourself.

This same philosophy holds true when it comes to guns.  Which gun is the best one for defense?  The one you currently have.  Start somewhere and then study it and understand it completely.  Once you have done that, then you can make up your mind as to what is the best martial art for you.

There will never be one martial art that stands above the rest.  It all depends on your body and what martial art fits you the best.  Good luck and keep practicing!

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11 Jul 2022

The Art of Customer Service

The basis of the words “Customer” and “Service” come from “Custom” and “Serve”.

When we are helping anyone anywhere in the world and offering them elite customer service, then we should be serving them in a customized way.

Too often people think of customer service as a way to ask, “How may I help you?” and then proceed with generic or common answers. The art of customizing every interaction is lost in the mundane daily tasks. We get so caught up in making every day the same and thinking that every customer is the same, that we forget that the experience is what brings people back to our establishment, time and time again.

If a woman walks into a clothing store and beelines for the “Customer Service Counter” so she can complain about a transaction or return a piece of clothing, then we should be asking questions with the intent of listening. We should seek out ways to make this experience better and at the same time make it unique to her. Everything starts with body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.

There are tons of YouTube videos and books on body language. There are even college classes that have this as part of the curriculum. With that said, I do not feel the need to go in-depth on body language, facial expressions and tone of voice.

What I would like to say about those things is to picture yourself speaking with the nicest person in the world or that you know. Imagine they are standing right in front of you. By changing the way you interact with someone, it can affect the way they respond

We all have bad days. We all get tired of doing the same thing every day. At the same time, we get tired of not having a good experience at an establishment. I can’t think of one person who wakes up and thinks, “I sure hope everywhere I go today gives me a hard time and makes it miserable to be there!” Each of us desires to enjoy ourselves and if we aren’t, then we hope someone changes that for us.

And if that doesn’t happen, then we usually end up going somewhere else.

My goal is to be the best at customer service, that anyone has ever seen. I know that by having that standard I will give them great service in my eyes and hopefully in their eyes too. We can’t make everyone happy or super excited that they met us, but we can always give it our best shot.

So, the next time someone walks up to you lift your body from the chest, reach for their hand (if it is appropriate), give them a good handshake with an even better smile and ask them what you can do for them. Then, proceed to listen, as if this person is your favorite person in the world to be around. Give them your undivided attention and truly seek to understand their problem or desire. Then, do everything you can to make that happen. And never let them go without doing something extra for them.

I used to work at a pizza joint that had an acronym of AGG. Apologize. Give them what they want. Give them something extra. Giving something extra doesn’t always have to be physical or tangible. It could be an extra bit of advice, directions or a recommendation. People love great service. They love to be entertained.

Why do we go to amusement parks?

Why do we go to comedy clubs?

Why do we go to movie theaters?

Yep, for entertainment. We love to be entertained. We love the experience. We love walking out of a place with a smile on our face and our heart feeling full.

That is the purpose of CUSTOMer SERVice.

Make it unique.

Make is special.

Make it as effortless for them as possible.

If you do this, then you will always have customers and you will always be in business.

I promise!

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20 Jul 2021

Your Last 5 Minutes

If you were told you had 5 minutes to live, what would you do?

What would you say?

Would you call someone?

Would you write your final will?

Would you write a note to your loved ones?

How about this…

Would you be ready?

Did you accomplish everything you wanted?

Did you give your best advice to those who needed it?

Did you say, “I love you” enough?

Did you say it at all?

300 seconds is all you have left to leave your last impression on this world.

Did your children learn all the lessons you had to teach them?

Does your spouse know how much you love and adore them?

Will your coworkers have great things to say about you?

Will the local stores remember you?

What will be said by others at your funeral?

Will the world be glad that you graced it with your presence and left something behind?

Will you pass from this planet with a smile on your face or a tear in your eye?

When your final chapter is written and you are flipping to the last couple of pages, what will the words say?

You get to choose the answer to all of the questions above.

You get to write your legacy.

Knowing that nothing can be taken with you, what will you leave behind?

The ending of the story is up to you.

Above all, I hope you choose happiness.

By leaving this world a piece of you, we will be better off.

Now go and finish your story.

You’ll be glad you did.

I promise.

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22 Jun 2021

Chance or Opportunity?

Many times the word “Chance” could be associated with…Scary, Losing, Pain or something Negative.

Opportunity, on the other hand, could be associated with having more or doing more. Positive feelings come when we think of the word “Opportunity”.

Everything you try or do on a daily basis requires a certain mindset to attempt it in the first place.

You dress yourself, because someone once taught you how and now you do it.

When we realize that we are capable of learning new things, then we will attempt more in life.

There isn’t anyone who has done everything on their own. We all need help and someone to teach us. This is why it is important to realize that anyone from a young child to someone at the end of their life can teach us. Sure, we would all like to have that one mentor who walks with us throughout our lives and teaches us the way of the world. The reality is that everyone is our mentor.

What could you learn from standing behind someone in line?

What could you learn from watching a kindergarten class perform a school play?

What could the sales clerk teach you from your interaction with them?

What could you learn from the way the person in the commercial responded or acted?

Our teachers are all around us. We have to be willing to use all of our senses to grasp what is happening around us every second of every day.

So many people do not try something new, because it is out of their comfort zone. Having a routine is nice, but sometimes that is also where depression comes in. We start looking at our lives and realizing that it is boring or that we could be doing so much more.

It is in those times that we need to reevaluate where we are and where we are going. We must be willing to change the set of the sail and allow the wind to blow us in a different direction.

How many times do you watch people doing things and think, “I could do that!” or “I wish I would try to do something like that.”

You can! Just make up your mind to do it!

Maybe that is the purchase of a new skateboard or sewing machine. Maybe it a gym membership or an airplane ticket. Maybe it is simply driving to a new destination for a hike or photography session.

Some of the things we want to do cost more money and some of them might actually save us more money. Others could lose us money or make us a lot more money!

Life is about LIVING!

Look at life as an opportunity. It is a mindset. We have the ability to change our minds whenever we want.

Go out and change your life for the better!

Be the example that others need to see, so they will do the same.

You won’t regret it…I promise

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11 Jun 2021

The Perfect Marriage

Was your first reaction to laugh or was it curiosity?

Is there a formula for a perfect marriage?

Maybe…

Have you ever volunteered your time to help a friend, family member or organization?

What about donating blood or platelets?

Was there this feeling that made you smile from the inside out when it was all finished?

That is how marriage should feel. It should be this feeling of giving to someone else. This can come in the form of a nice compliment or note. It can also be done by helping around the home or giving a well-timed and thoughtful gift. It isn’t about how much you spend, but that you thought of them to do something special.

Maybe it is as simple as rubbing their feet or neck. Possibly just holding their hand and looking into their eyes.

So, if it is really that simple where did we go wrong?

Let’s start at the beginning…

From the time we are born to the time we graduate high school, life is pretty much about us. Some of us may take that into our 20’s or even 30’s.

From our exterior to our interior we have a lot of control as to what happens to us and at what time.

The problem with that is we get into a habit of always thinking about ourselves instead of others. This problem pops up when we get married and start realizing that our way is not always the popular way. We start getting challenged by our significant other to why we think the way we do. Maybe we get completely shut down on our opinion or idea.

This can lead to arguments, pride getting in the way, and downright obstinance on our part or our spouse.

Every day it is up to you whether the day starts off right or wrong. Can we control how someone else responds? No. However, we can keep making the right decision by giving to them.

Are there going to be those times when someone doesn’t respond in the right way? Yes. Could it be a continual thing? Yes. Is that your fault? No. That is something they will need to remedy on their side. Our job is to love them and to take care of them mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

If they never change, then it might be time to get counseling. If that doesn’t work, then you have to do what you feel is right by your own beliefs.

The majority of people will reciprocate your giving to them. And the goal is that they take turns giving it first too.

When two people are loving towards one another, then giving should come naturally. Sometimes you don’t feel the love, but by putting into action what we want to ultimately achieve, then we will feel the love afterwards.

There are moments when you won’t want to do something and that is natural. Everyone feels like that at times. The goal is to reach for something more. We are seeking the perfect marriage and each couple will have a different idea of what perfect is. The main idea is that you come up with it together.

You are in control of your destiny. You are in control of your thoughts. You are in control of your actions. When you start taking responsibility for your successes and failures, then you will start doing what is required to achieve maximum results in your marriage.

There are thousands of ideas that you can research on the internet. Take some time to make your marriage perfect. Take some time to ask your spouse what they like. Take some time to write it down.

You have to study to get good grades. You have to workout to get a fit body. You have to work hard to make more money.

Your relationship deserves hard work too. Take five minutes to think about your spouse. Think of all the generous things he/she has done for you. Think of goals you want to achieve with them. Think of places you want to go. Think about making them smile.

Your words and actions go farther than you realize.

Give it your best and you won’t be disappointed.

I promise.

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22 Jan 2021

The purpose of fear.

Many people do not attempt jobs, hobbies, meeting new people, or speaking in front of others because of fear.

What is fear?

Is it False Evidence Appearing Real? Is it real at all or is it completely made up?

Life if full of decisions. Everyday we make decisions based on previous knowledge. The direction we choose to drive to work. The way we put our clothes on. The breakfast we eat every morning.

Decisions make up our reality. Do we choose to switch lanes or do we continue to sit behind the same vehicle going the same speed, for possibly the next five to twenty-five minutes?

Do we try something new on at the store and really impress our coworkers the next day?

Should we take a chance on a different job description? Should we endure more stress for more money? Should we move into leadership?

Is there part of our past that is disrupting our present and future? Are we focused on the wrong outcomes?

These are questions that need to be answered almost every day. Some of them come with little effort and others are overwhelming for us.

The key is to relocate your focus. In order to have fear we have to focus on something that reminds us of pain. A pain we do not want to feel again. So, the reverse of that is to focus on something that brings us happiness and hope. We need to see the good in others. We need to see the good in events that happen “for us” and not “to us”.

If we can switch our focus to the good and what brings us joy, then we can have a more prosperous life. One that brings complete satisfaction. One that brings us into our true selves. Everyone of us can think of a time that we finally broke out of our comfort zone, no matter how big or small, and had a warming sensation come over us for doing so. We look back and think…”Wow, I am so glad I did that!”

If you can go back to that moment every time you have to make what seems like a fearful decision, then you will more times than not go for it. You will choose the path less traveled. You will experience new heights and sometimes new lows, but all of it will be worth it. The reason why is because you took a chance. You stepped up to this life you were given and said, “I will make the most of it.”

So, the next time you come to a cross roads don’t think twice. Instantly turn to the good feelings you have had in the past and let them guide you to your full destiny. Your future self will be glad you did.

I promise!

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01 Aug 2018

Growing Up – by Brad Rhame

I passed by my oldest son’s bedroom and noticed he was taking a nap.  He is 14 years old.  It is amazing to see how long he is on the bed.  In the last year, he has grown 5 to 6 inches in height and gained a tremendous amount of muscle.  As he was lying there, I felt like I had missed a whole year of his life.

He has changed so much!

I am proud of him.  He hears me say it, however, I don’t think he understands it.  Not like me.  There is this deep feeling of emotion that rushes over me as I see the man he could or might become.  His future is still in its infancy.

I think back to when he was a baby.  He was premature and was less than 4 lbs.  So small.  So helpless.  So fragile.  Now he is able to do most things by himself and will soon be driving.  I actually look forward to teaching him how to drive.  It will be one more bridge to freedom for him.  Another chance to grow up and make important decisions.

Sometimes we want our children to stay small and young.  We forget that our parents wanted the same thing for us, as did their parents for them.  Life is about growth…mentally…physically…emotionally…spiritually.  Without growth, there is only death. Life requires growth.  People, places, and things never stop growing.

People grow in physicality first and then in understanding (or at least that is the hope…lol).  Places like cities continue to grow in population.  In fact, the population from 1980 (4.4 billion) till now July 2018 (7.5 billion) has grown extremely fast!  And things like transportation, technology and even trees continue to grow.

Back to my son…

Now that his bones, muscles and other tissues are growing quickly, it also requires rest.  I think that is why he is napping.  Besides it being hot out, he is just worn out.  I take these moments as precious times in history, because I won’t have them much more.  What I will have is more experiences with him.  More intelligent conversations and yes…better comebacks.  We like to joke a lot.  He also likes to fill his oats and challenge me from time to time, with a little chest bumping action or wrestling match. He is definitely getting stronger and faster.  One day I won’t have the upper hand.  My martial arts background and physical size over him won’t last much longer, but I’m not telling him that!

I love him.

I make sure to tell him that a lot.

He probably thinks I say it too much, but I know a lot of guys who have never heard that from their dads.  So, I want to make sure he knows.

When life keeps moving faster and faster, make sure to hit the pause button and look around.  Kids grow up fast.  We grow up fast.  Life keeps moving, growing, changing…and if we don’t take a moment to breath and take in its beauty, then we will miss it.

I’m not going to miss it.

I’m not going to miss watching my son grow up.

In fact…I look forward to it (sort of).

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28 Jul 2018

Watch as Gary Vaynerchuk teaches you how to mass produce your content

https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6428628857133236224

This flip chart, that Gary V and his team put together, might be the best content I have seen in awhile! Pull out your notebook and get ready to take some notes. You will not be disappointed. I call this…”Simple, yet Profound”

Posted in Business, Motivation | Leave a comment
08 May 2016

What it means to be a MOM

What it means to be a mom is hard to put into a short writing.  Mothers are an amazing gift from God to all the children that they touch.  Sometimes we think that being a mom means you must have your own children, but that it just not true.

How many of us can remember a special woman or teacher who gave us the love and attention we needed?  I could name so many ladies who helped raise me.  Women who were either part of our family or close friends with it.  I even have a couple of past teachers who have touched my life in a motherly way.

All men know they have no idea what it means to think like a woman.  I can confidently say that we don’t even have the capacity to do what women can.  I wish I could remember where I heard it, but there was a great word-picture put into my head a long time ago about the difference between men and women.  When comparing us to computers, men have one screen open at a time and women have multiple screens going all at the same time!  This also explains why they can switch from one subject to another so quickly, while driving men crazy!!

I watched my mom growing up and all she did and went through to keep our house a home.  Keeping up with the baseball, basketball, football, and whatever else we could find to join and participate in was a true accomplishment. “Soccer Moms” are Super Moms!  Many women work outside the home and then still find time to come home, cook, clean, pickup their kids, help with homework…AND do so much more.

All these years later, I now watch how my mom and all her female friends and family have achieved so much.  It brings me great pride to see the tenacity and perseverance shown by every woman and mom out there.  I also see this in my own home with my wife who stays home and homeschools our two boys.  Teaching is a full-time job and then having to find time to clean and work on personal hobbies is almost more than I can comprehend.

I love watching two women on similar life paths talk about their days.  You can see it in their eyes that they “get” one another.  They know exactly what the other is going through and it brings a sense of peace to know they aren’t the only ones.  God knew that men could raise children, but that they just weren’t made to handle everything women can.

I have so much respect for my wife, Anne.  She is constantly homeschooling our two boys and then finds time to have dinner ready when I come home from work.  She has clothes washing and drying, the dishwasher going, while at the same time trying to keep two growing boys from tearing up the house.  Then when the night calms down and the boys are off to bed, she finds time to pull out her painting business and work on some new projects.  I get tired just thinking off all she does!  AND…to top it off, she looks amazing at the end of the night after all of that!

Moms are such a magnificent whirlwind of beauty.  So many have to be away from their children for long periods of time, while others never seem to get any time away.  The ability to nurture at home and be professional in the world is absolutely astonishing!

There are numerous days that I don’t thank my wife and my mom for everything they do and have done for our families.  These two women are a couple of the most amazing ladies with whom I have had the opportunity to share my life.  I could not end this without mentioning my mother-in-law who is also an amazing woman!  After losing her husband to a long fight with cancer, she went back to school, got a degree, entered the workforce for the first time and has done amazingly well!  She is one of the loveliest ladies I know.

I am blessed to be able to write this and even more blessed to have gotten to share in the amazing stories of all the women who have come into my life.  Thank you, each one of you, for caring for me and showing me unconditional kindness…especially when I did not deserve it!

If you have or know of a special woman in your life please tell her how special she is and what an amazing job she is doing.

And that is what it means to be a mom!

 

 

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28 Feb 2016

Sales, Stories, and Car Accidents – by Brad Rhame

My entire “driving” life I have always wondered why people feel the need to slow down, when driving past an accident.  I mean, they see stuff like this or worse on TV…right?!  Well, it finally made sense to me over twenty years later.

 

I was driving home last night and came to find out that I couldn’t even pull down my street, because there was a car that had crashed into a telephone pole and knocked down a power line.  My family was outside watching everything happen and so I joined them.  We were like bugs attracted to a light.  With all the ambulance, police and fire department lights, we were all amazed at what was going on.

 

As I was standing there watching this event unfold, I realized I was like one of “those people” who would slow down at an accident to see what was going on.  Then, I remembered a YouTube video that I had watched a couple days earlier, by Christine Clifford.  She was talking about selling to people through the use of stories.  Her main point was to use your story to get people interested in your product or service.

 

This all made sense as we were standing there at the car accident site.  We were wanting to know the story of what happened.  This required us to pay attention to the details, through our eyes and ears.  When we finally had most of the details, we were able to put the story together for others to hear.

 

That is why we go and see movies, read books, and listen to music.  We want a story told to us.  People love stories and some love telling those stories.  Think of how people gather around to hear others tell an amazing event that happened to them.  That is why it is so important to be a good story teller.

 

Those who can master the art of story telling can transfer that into their sales presentations.  By capturing a client’s attention, through the art of story telling, we can give them a better idea of how our product or service works.  So, if you want to become great at sales, then you need to master the art of telling a good story…your story.

 

There is one nice thing that this revelation has done for me twenty years later.  I won’t become frustrated anymore at people, in traffic, who slow down to watch an accident.  They are just looking for a story to tell.

 

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